It definitely feels different waking up in the morning with the sun on my face. I love our new condo! I can’t believe my husband took a whole week to convince me that this was to be our home. In four short months, we are celebrating our third wedding anniversary, and how far we have come together. So far, this condo has had a positive impact on my life, and on our marriage. That’s not why I’m writing this blog, however, as since I moved in, I had a really cool dream that had a marked impact on my spiritual walk.
The dream was a continuation of another dream I had when I was a teenager. It was the dream that comforted me as I was grieving the death of my first love. The dream involved walking a spiraling stair case with the wind increasing in intensity the higher I climbed. My saving grace was the golden railing I clung to, and used to pull myself up. The stairs resembled my life, and the railing represented God, the one consistency through the twists and turns. No matter what happens, I will always cling to the railing, pulling myself up further.
In the original dream, I reached the top of the stairs, and found myself in a wide open, spacious room with a window in place of one of the walls. In the room, I met with my grandfather (who at the time was in the final stages of his pulmonary fibrosis), and he welcomed me, reassuring me that he was safe and would be there to greet me when my time comes. His smile, and the shine in his eyes encouraged me to live life at the fullest so that God would see what I did with the gifts He gave me, and tell me “Well done, good and faithful one!”
I always pondered this dream, and I knew that heaven to always be in my heart, giving me an eternal perspective on life. Focusing on the things that truly matter gives my life meaning and hope. This focus pushed me through my grief, and it is this that inspired me to be baptized in May 2002. I forget the exact day, but it will always be my spiritual birthday. I’ll have to check in the Bible that I received that day. I still have it.
Recently, I had a dream that echoed the dream I mentioned. I was back in Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic at a resort. I was sitting in the sand watching the crashing waves, smelling the salt in the air, and feeling the warmth of the sunset kissing my skin. This is where my original dream ended. I recognized the setting right away, as it felt familiar. I closed my eyes, and felt Jesus close. I saw His image, and His eyes gazed down upon me with the warmest compassion.
Didn’t He know where I was spiritually? My eating disorder got so bad, I had lost my faith for a short time, as I felt abandoned. In my encounter with Jesus, we communicated through a spiritual sense instead of verbally. He must have heard my thoughts, as His kind gaze brought tears to my eyes. I was humbled at His words “Yes, I know what you did, but come back. I love you.” He offered me His hand, and I saw the hole that the nail went through. It felt so real, however, before I could respond, I woke up.
I couldn’t just forget this dream and carry on, as it moved me so much. One cannot encounter the Holy, and not be shaken. God is far too powerful! I’m not going to preach, as I am speaking from what I have experienced. After I asked myself if Jesus really was/is who He says He is, God answered my thoughts through a dream. With this one, how much clearer could He be. He is real, and is jealous for me. I am His.
Even so, who am I to question after experiencing how powerful He is? He has wisdom far beyond my own, He is so powerful that one look into His eyes, my own eyes open, and forever change my life and perspective. That is just one look, one hint of who He is. One cannot experience God in His fullness, and be the same. I know I couldn’t!